“Who am I?” – the most essential question
Some time between age five and eight, I became aware that there was ‘something’ inside me that perceived the world around me as well as my body and thoughts. The discovery aroused intense curiosity in me to find out what this ‘something’ was, and I tried hard to look inward to identify it. But there was nothing to be found – only the experience of … experiencing. Frustrated by my seeming lack of success, I quickly ditched the project. Today I understand that, in these moments I was actually doing self-inquiry, following a trail back to my essential nature.
Spiritual path
Due to my mother’s interest in spirituality when I was a kid, I was exposed to many different paths from an early age, such as a Danish yoga school, a darshan (audience) with Karmapa (when he visited Copenhagen), and a trip to India to meet Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (later to be known as Osho). Later on in my twenties, my girlfriend took an interest in healing, dream interpretation and holotropic breathwork courses. I kind of intuited that if I wanted to keep the relationship I’d better join her, so I did.
Consequently, for most of my life you could say I have been on a spiritual path. But mostly just ‘following along to get along’, and as a way to feel superior to others (to compensate for an inferiority complex). However, it also genuinely widened my horizon, and around my mid-fifties after a turbulent period, a shift took place. I had to face my demons; my seeking became earnest. Through the guidance of the spiritual teacher Mooji, something clicked, and I rediscovered the trail I had given up on as a child. The door that once seemed closed, opened, and I realised that what was behind it was just me, consciousness, pure being.
Massage
Over the years, I have been told in various ways that I have healing/loving hands. People that I have massaged have said so. An ayurvedic counsellor advised me to circulate the energy in my hands through massage and/or gardening. And in my thirties I had a dream wherein my hands emitted rays of light; I used the light to track a wounded deer in a dark forest in order to rescue it.
2013 was the year I took my first steps into the world of (neo) tantra. I have taken a number of professional tantra massage trainings (CHAI, Ma Ananda Sarita, Lin Holmquist/tantra-therapy.com), as well as a dearmouring training with Dearmouring Arts (Sanna Sanita m.fl.) and a host of shorter courses and workshops in related fields with different teachers. My style of massage draws upon all of this in an intuitive mix adapted to who I am and what you bring to the session. I addition to this intuitive format, I also offer Kashmiri tantra massage which has a fixed format. In both cases, presence and gentleness take center stage.